When I began writing about the archaeological evidence for shamanic sex rites on my archaeological forum in the early 2000s, I was one of the first to air the subject. But by the time I’d compiled those posts into The Sacred Sex Rites of Ishtar, the notion of sacred love-making was starting to go viral … and I learned a HUGE lesson from all that.
As ever, when a researcher discovers and digs up one of the pearls beyond price, it attracts an infestation of parasites and a Biblical plague of locusts. So it didn’t take long for all the usual grifters, hustlers and liggers to jump on to what they saw as a great new racket. After all, when all else fails, sex always sells.
The feature writers on women’s magazines were delighted that they now had a new relationship twist – that of twin flames and twin souls. The New Age Movement, always casting around for a novel money spinner that sounds vaguely spiritual, jumped on the idea for tantra workshops and hand-fastings, and it made for some freshly-minted pick-up lines, especially from the sort of men you can meet around here where I live in Glastonbury.
“Hey, babe, I think you might be my twin soul.”
“I’m sure we must have met in another lifetime.”
At the same time, the modern science of quantum mechanics was welcomed into the fold with its revolutionary findings about “entanglement”. And so it was decided that because the embryonic egg in the womb always starts off as female, until gender individuation, there just must be all these ejected male souls spinning out into orbit and longing to return to their female twin. Quantum entanglement was used to insist that they are always linked by some invisible, etheric, umbilical cord. There’s no evidence, let alone proof – scientific or otherwise – for any of it … none at all. But nobody cares. It’s a good story and it sells.
However, the subject of sacred shamanic love-making is real and, by extension, so are twin souls who incarnate together on Earth, lifetime after lifetime. The whole mechanics by which the twin flames rediscover and reconnect with one another is a vital passage within the spiritual evolution of the individual. It is not a distraction from the Path; it is the Path.
And so I’d like to share here some of what I’ve been taught by my spirit guides, including about how to recognise your twin soul.
I can’t claim that it’s scientific, in the modern sense of that word. But it does make sense out of many old myths and folk tales that I’ve read about weavers and spinners, and it has made such an impression on me that I used the trials that led to the eventual reunion of the eternal twin flames, Gwyddion and Arianrhod, as a running back story theme through all three books of the trilogy of The Glastonbury Chronicles.
So if you’re open to some Otherworldly guidance on how to recognise your twin soul, buckle up!
The Dream Lover
You cannot even begin the process of finding your twin flame until you’ve met, and got erotically entangled with, your Dream Lover.
Dream lover, where are you
With a love, oh, so true
And the hand that I can hold
To feel you near as I grow old
‘Cause I want (yeah-yeah, yeah)
A girl (yeah-yeah, yeah)
To call (yeah-yeah, yeah)
My own (yeah-yeah, yeah)
I want a dream lover
So I don’t have to dream alone.
Dream Lover by Bobby Darin
Whether or not Bobby Darin realised it, the Dream Lover always comes at night, just like Eros and, just like Eros, he vanishes at dawn. If you know that ancient Greek myth, you’ll know that Eros and his lover, Psyche, are eventually united in a real marriage on Earth. But they both have to go through a lot of what we call today “stuff” or “processing” – the trials of the mythological hero or heroine – before they are both deemed to have learned enough about their true selves for their Earthly reunion to take place.
Until then, the Dream Lover has to go when the sun rises, to leave room for his Lower Self, the Daytime Lover to appear… but only if he or she is ready to. The human Daytime Lover may not be ready. Or even if they do appear, and you recognise that they have the features and qualities of the Dream Lover, they may not yet be sufficiently spiritually evolved to recognise it, or you, and may not be for a long time, even possibly not until the next lifetime.
I’ve put together this diagram to describe the process.
I’ve used the red arrows to show that the female isn’t looking at the Daytime Lover, who is sitting near her. She cannot see him; she is only looking up at his Higher Self, her Dream Lover. At the same time, the blue arrows show that the male is solely concentrating on her Higher Self, his Dream Lover, and may not recognise the woman sitting next to him. This is all OK. In fact, it’s perfect. You can’t put the bridal carriage before the horse. You have to work first with the Dream Lover, and continue with – I have to admit! – some deliciously ecstatic, nocturnal love trysts until the world turns and one day, your Daytime Lover hoves into view.
I should explain the planetary symbols, too, because these gods play a vital role in how the Marriage of the Sun and Moon can be brought down to Earth, to fertilise human relationships.
The two Lower Selves, male and female, are guided in this process by Mars and Venus. The two Higher Selves are ruled by the Sun and the Moon. The whole process is overlighted by Mercury, who is vital to any alchemical operation but especially the Marriage of the Sun and the Moon.
How can you tell when it’s your twin flame?
Well, because he or she is, literally, the man or woman of your dreams.
He or she should have the look and feel of his or her Higher Self, your Dream Lover. But you may be the sort that doesn’t remember your dreams. In which case, you will probably get a feeling that there’s something uncannily familiar about him or her, as if you’ve met them before, and yet no matter how much you search through the cupboards and drawers of your conscious mind, you can’t quite find it. If you’re lucky, you may get something to “break the dream”. But if you’re really not sure, you can always ask your spirit guides.
The ancestral spirits have an important role in all this. So just as in Cinderella, there really are fairy godmothers behind the scenes turning pumpkins into carriages and lizards into footmen to make the magic happen. And first of all, they bring the Dream Lover into your night-time reveries while, at the same time, putting you and your Daytime Lover through preparatory trials.
Try not to be misled too much by all the unrealistic Hollywood movies we were spoon-fed with our Farex from the cradle about how when the One turns up, we will instantly recognise them and fall madly in love. You could easily swipe straight past them on Tinder because you think they’re not your type – failing to realise that continually falling for ‘your type’ is why you are still on Tinder.
Or like Lucy in E.M. Forster’s A Room With a View, you may be so in denial about your attraction to them that you lie to everyone, including yourself, about how you feel.
The storylines in romantic pulp fiction, like Mills and Boon books, are often closer to how it really is when you finally meet your Daytime Lover twin soul. They usually follow the same formula in that the couple destined for one another start off as antagonists.
The fiery disdain between Elizabeth Bennett and Mr Darcy at the beginning of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is another good example. Like them, you may feel completely off with your twin flame at first, or you may not get along with them and find yourself arguing with them all the time. That’s all OK and perfect too. It’s just the opposite poles firing up in an aurora borealis of a peacock display, to show each other who they are, before doing what opposite poles always have to do in the end, whether they like it or not, and get together!