IN this new video, I’m talking about powerful shamanic techniques for healing Narcissistic Personality Disorder, otherwise known as NPD.
I know this may come as something of a surprise to those of you who have been given to understand that NPD can never be cured, but if you can bear with you just a little, I will go on to explain my point-of-view as a shaman.
I can say, though, at this stage, that a therapy that uses words – like any of the talking therapies – will never be able to reach and heal a disorder that was caused in the pre-verbal state … and quite possibly in the womb.
Perhaps that’s why members of the American Psychiatric Association believe, largely, that NPD can never be healed. It cannot be healed by them… which is not quite the same thing. And once we take a step back from this self-appointed priesthood, other solutions quickly present themselves.
So you can click on the YouTube video here, or just carry on reading.
In the video, I use the terms ‘narcissistic tendencies’ and Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD, because it is really just a spectrum and a matter of degree. We all have narcissistic tendencies for reasons I’ll go on to explain.
But first, for those unfamiliar with the term Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I’m going to give you a brief definition.
In a nutshell, those suffering from NPD tend to have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, an insatiable craving for admiration and attention, and an inability to experience empathy for others’ feelings.
If you’ve ever been unfortunate enough to be a relationship with a narcissist, you would have been subject to a form of manipulation which begins with being showered with what seems like love.
This is called love bombing.
The love bombing stage is when the narcissist really gets thair hooks into you, and it usually ends after a few months, just as if someone flipped a switch, when it instantly turns to its opposite… unending and irrational hatred and criticism, emotional abuse and incandescent tantrums or raging to the point of violence.
We’re told in all the literature that both stages of the relationship – in-love or in-hate – are equally satisfying to the narcissist, who in this respect is like a vampire, sucking the energy of their victim. It makes no difference to them whether it is the energy of love or of despair. Apparently, this was their goal all along, to have a ready-made supply handy whenever they need a feed.
You can’t reason with the narcissist, that they should treat you better. They are always right and you are always wrong.
You will probably already know most of this if you’ve ever been in a relationship with a narcissist and came on to YouTube to research it, to get some help and support in helping you discover how you got yourself into the mess, in the first, place, and how you get yourself out.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, less than one per cent of population suffer from Narcisstic Personality Disorder. But from thousands of talking heads on YouTube, explaining how they are in recovery from their narcissist partner, and how they managed to leave him in the end, you’d think it’s far more than that.
I think the reason may be that they are confusing full-blown NDP with narcissistic tendencies in a person, which we all have to some extent… for reasons I’ll come on to.
But anyway, all the cries for help and support are from the victims, and no remedy or succour is offered for the manifestation of pure evil itself, the sufferer of NPD. He is just the fall-guy, the villain, in this online pantomine.
I sometimes feel like shouting:
“He’s behind you!”.
It is from that source that you would have learned that there is no cure for NPD. Well, apart from the problem of using talking therapies to cure a cause that’s pre-verbal, there’s another factor that plays into that final judgement.
Although much of this enormous and increasingly influential school of thought on YouTube presents itself as a great and glittering edifice of the distilled thought of the wise, it is more like a Potemkin Village.A lot of it has been spawned by the work of just one man – Professor Sam Vaknin.
I think that the fact that the primary source for the diagnosing of NPD is just one man is dangerous enough in itself. But on top of that, Vaknin himself admits to being a narcissist… in fact, it seems to be one of his unique selling points. And so to rely on him when he says that NPD can never be healed is about as sensible as relying on a congenital liar when he insists that lying can never be cured.
Don’t get me wrong. I sometimes listen to Vaknin. He gives good value. He’s a very intelligent and erudite man. He’s also quite witty. But in his domination of this cod psychology entertainment market, he’s a classic text book case of what the full-blown narcissist does, by owning the floor on the whole issue and thus getting lots of attention.
After all, isn’t that what Vaknin has taught us that is all the unfeeling narcissist wants at the end of the day… attention…? A big audience so they can sink their fangs into big feed?
All the better to eat you with!
To me, when a show offers no solution, but only problems, then it is in fact a form of pyschic vampirism which is, admittedly, most entertaining. But it doesn’t help those who suffer from NPD. It only provides a stick for those who make a sport out of labelling those who they don’t like – or feel wronged by – as a narcissist, as if pathologising what we used to consider to be a hard life experience makes it better.
Unfortunately, it has given rise to a whole swathe of those who believe they are victims of narcissists and who call themselves “empaths” … implying in that one word that they are more sensitive than most people and are therefore holier… or at least holier than the diabolical narcissist.
But how can they possibly know whether they have more empathy than others? Is it more likely that the empath tag gives them a handy vanity mirror to gaze into as they lick their wounds over their last encounter with the narcissist from Hell who ran off with their heart… and all their money. There is certainly nothing about empaths in the American Psychiatric Association’s DSM – the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual – which is considered to be the Bible on the study of psychological disorders.
So maybe it’s time for the empaths to start to show some sympathy for the narcissist, and to be open at least to looking for ways to heal the condition.
OK… so now I’ve explained how the person suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder is commonly perceived, and given my reasons for questioning some of it, I will come on to the cause of NPD and how shamanic healing therapies may well offer the cure.
There are some very powerful shamanic techniques that dissolve the very cause of NPD. The cause is the deep-seated shame and guilt which gave rise to the condition in the first place.
There is for example healing of soul loss, otherwise known as Shamanic Soul Retrieval… this term is probably misnamed.
One can never lose the soul … it is more a part of the personality that goes missing, that needs to be found and brought back by the shaman. However, much of the nomenclature in shamanism comes from the interviews of anthropologists at the end of the 19th century, with shamans all over the world. These anthropologists translated what they learned into words that made sense to them as Christians.
Anyway, the term Soul Retrieval caught on and stuck … and so we are stuck with it, I’m afraid.
So what is Soul Retrieval or soul loss? That’s the part I’m going to explain about now, and once you understand it, you’ll also see how shamanic soul retrieval is perfect for healing a whole load of deep-seated subconscious issues … including those that burden down the narcissist.
“On a visceral level, we all know how soul loss comes about. We suffer pain or trauma or abuse. We are overwhelmed by grief or guilt or shame, and art of us goes away because it doesn’t want to stay in a world that seems so harsh and cruel.
“We are compelled to make a wrenching life choice, leaving a partner or a job or a home. Part of us resists that choice and parts company with our dominant personality, clinging to the old relationship or the old place.
“Soul loss deepens when we fall into depression or addiction or make compromises with the world as we understand it, giving up on our big dreams of life. Lacking the courage and confidence to make that creative leap, or to trust ourselves to love, we wimp out and part of our bright spirit, disgusted with us, goes away.”
Those are not my words … they are those of the historian Robert Moss who had a shamanic awakening and went on to write books on lucid dreaming.
Moss goes on to say:
“Good therapists can help us to recognize parts of ourselves we have repressed and denied, including the famous Shadow, the term especially favoured by Jungians for what we have tried to relegate to the basement of the personal unconscious because we would rather not own it as a part of ourselves.
“The shamanic concept of soul loss reaches further. It recognizes that soul healing is not only about recognizing and integrating aspects of the self that we have buried or denied; it is retrieving pieces of soul that have literally gone missing and need to be located and persuaded to return and take up residence in the body where they belong.”
He goes on to add that, in his own practice, he has identified five different forms of symptoms, or complexes of symptoms, which indicate that soul retrieval healing may help.
All five are the loss that creates a chasm or lacuna in the soul, the same chasm that the sufferer of NPD tries, in vain, to fill with attention from others.
• Loss of vital energy – like ME or chronic fatigue
• Loss of younger self – feeling old before your time
• Loss of animal spirits – feeling separate to Nature
• Loss of ancestral soul – feeling alienated from our ancestors or our natural tribe
• Loss of connection with the Greater Self – as if you’re wandering lost in the Wilderness or Wasteland
There is a further symptom that I’ve identified in my practice, which could be called ‘continually revisiting the scene of the crime’. If the soul loss occurred through, say, abuse from a loved one, the person may continually find themselves in serial relationships with abusers.
It’s almost as if they keep attracting to themselves the same unhealthy relationships – the identical patterns of adverse life events. It is so that they can revisit the scene of the crime in order to discover what they’ve lost. Of course, the attraction of life patterns takes place in the subconscious mind and so they’re rarely aware that they are magnetising it to themselves.
Anyway, so far we’ve just been talking about healing the shame and guilt that we have accrued over our actions in this life … and that is quite valid. But on top of that – or perhaps I should say below that – a lot of our shame and guilt is free-floating and difficult to pin down, because it’s pre-verbal and subconscious.
We have it because from the moment we emerge from the birth passage, we enter into a world that is completely organised around the notion of Original Sin. We’re born into families where our parents are weighed down with the burden of Original Sin, because their parents were, and so on… as far back as we know… and even further back than that, deep in the mists of time.
It’s been going on for thousands of years. The use of Original Sin as a tool to control the peoples of Earth is older than the story about Adam and Eve being banished from the Garden of Eden for merely the transgression of eating an apple.
We can trace it back at least as far as the astronomer priests of ancient Babylon. Knowing, as they did, with their extensive star charts, exactly when an eclipse would be due, they would tell their citizens that if they didn’t pay enough tithes into the temple, God would show his displeasure by making the Sun go dark. Lo and behold, a few weeks later, their prophecy comes true and after that, all the taxes in Babylon go up.
It was an early form of carbon credits, if you like …..Green taxes that are the currency of today’s Original Sin, brought it to replace the previous one which was losing its sting. For more than 1500 years, we’d been kept on our knees for our transgressions over the murder of the son of God in Jerusalem, who had been sent to save us from our sins.
Now in the 21st century, that religion – and thus its means of control – is fading, and so they’ve have to resort of climate change … and a new one in the last two years, that if we don’t use certain kinds of medication, we will be responsible for the deaths of untold thousands, including Granny, according to the new Babylonian priesthood of modellers.
So we have to deal with this enormous inherited burden before we can even start to address the shame and guilt we may quite rightly feel because of mistakes we’ve made consciously in this life. The legacy of it all goes back a long long way into the deepest nooks and crannies of our subconscious minds … but thankfully, so does shamanic soul retrieval.
Soul retrieval acts on the bridge where the conscious mind meets the subconscious mind, and as I’ve described in previous videos, this bridge is not made of cables of fibres or muscle, but of frequency. It is a musical bridge that leads to a land of opera and plays composed in verse.
It’s an otherworldly dimension where metaphor is used by the entities that inhabit it as a symbolic picture message to bring back to the person waiting for healing, and as they always say… a picture speaks a thousand words.
Another shamanic technique that is very good, that has literally dissolved, like battery acid, my latent shame and guilt, is the Ecstasy of the Heart. I’ve described how to do this meditation in a number of previous broadcasts.
But I found that in becoming a part of the eternal quantum present, all the sins and transgressions of the past – whether real, imagined or inherited – disappeared completely.
So in coming out of that blissful state into this reality, I find I have as much reluctance to take it all on again as there is to put on a thick winter overcoat during a heatwave. And the truth is… we don’t have to.
It is not selfish or self-centred work. It could be considered selfish not to address that part of our spiritual evolution. How we feel is what we transmit to others, and it impacts on how they feel.
Redeeming the Ancestors
In shamanic terms, soul retrieval is part of a wider piece of work which is called Redeeming the Ancestors.
Undergoing a soul retrieval is part of Redeeming the Ancestors because its power is so strong and far-reaching that it is able to stretch back to effect healing up to seven generations into the past, and seven generations into the future.
In other words, in breaking free of that thick winter overcoat, you will be saving your whole family line – for generation upon generation – from the burden of suffering caused by the sort of shame and guilt that leads to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, that is causing you to display the symptoms of in your own life, and that was never really theirs to bear on their backs in the first place.
To conclude, the shaman can offer healing to help those suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder …You might be wondering how you can tell if you or others have narcissistic tendencies, or even full-blow NPD. Well, let me ask you this question? Do you have a pulse?
For all the reasons I’ve explained here, we only need to look in the mirror to find our first client for shamanic soul retrieval. The next step might for us to stop Otherising others we don’t understand and therefore cannot help. We need to start pulling up the roots of the disorder within ourselves, so that we can go on much more contented lives.
This year, I will be doing one-to-one training sessions for shamanic healers and therapists who want to learn how to do soul retrieval, and so if you’re interested please do get in touch.
Or if you like to experience a shamanic soul retrieval yourself, I’d be happy to give you one.